Single-tasking experiment

So, I've decided to challenge myself this week at practicing single-tasking rather than multi-tasking. I started this experiment yesterday and boy was I challenged!!!



I realized that I really have to focus on what I am doing and stay in the moment! Who would have thought that practicing single-tasking is about staying present and in the moment?!



And, I've also come to the realization that I am very easily distracted. So, while I thought that I was being a super-mom, human being...I was actually being distracted from the task at hand and moved on to something else without completing my first task!



So, right now, I am going to stop blogging as my baby girl is crawling in circles around me as I am typing. I am not paying attention to her and I've "multi-tasking" again.



See ya'!



Coach Shirley

Michael Jackson, may you finally find peace with yourself.

I feel so drawn to write this blog about Michael and what I have learned from him and his life.

He was such a talent, that, no one can deny. Looking at the pictures from his early years as a child performer, his light was shining so brightly and so much innocence. He totally drew us to him. Then, in the later years, when he started changing his appearence, I personally believe that his demons caught up with him.

He started morphing into an entirely different person. To me, he was rejecting himself. He could not accept himself. We are all guilty of that to a certain degree. I had always been very bothered by my wide hips, and longed to have those hips of the supermodels, narrow and boyish. Now, I realized that it is just one of my many womanly features which makes me Shirley!

Michael has taught me something through his pain. The one person who can give each of us the peace we seek, is the very image we see in the mirror. When I learn to fully accept myself for all my brillance and flaws, I am at peace, truly at peace and no one can take that from me.

So, for that, I am grateful for Michael for showing up in our lives, the music he left behind, the dance moves, even his pains that he had to share publicly. I am grateful and I pray, pray that he is finally at peace with himself.

Peace, Michael. You are so missed already!!

Peace everyone,
Coach Shirley

In the present moment

Well, I cannot believe it but, it's true...my little Sophia has turned 1 last Friday!!! Wow! I made it as a new mom for a year and guess what? I realized that I am mom for the rest of my life!

I caught myself looking back at Sophia's baby pictures. From the day she was born all through present day. I was lamenting to myself for not treasuring those baby moments where she was just a month, then 2 months...all the way to present day.

Then, I asked myself, what am I doing now? Am I staying in the present moment with her, enjoying her as a year-old baby or am I just wishing my time away for those "loss" days of her being a baby?

How often have I mourn the "loss" of time passed and not treasure the present moment? How often have I been mourning about the past and yet, not being fully in the present? What is the benefit to me to keep this "mourning" cycle going?

Since this cycle came to my awareness, I am determined to make of an effort to choose to stay present and be present. I am enjoying helping Sophia to learn to climb the stairs, walk a couple of steps without my assistance. I am choosing to be present when she starts to learn all the cool stuff that she is exploring as a new toddler.

And, when I look back a year from now, I will be smiling in the memories rather than mourning the passing of time and not treasure it more.

So, what do you choose to stay present for and make a memory for yourself? Are you willing to give up the "mourning" and celebrate each present moment? Imagine the richness that will add to your life!!! Let's get started, shall we?

Peace,
Coach Shirley

How vulnerable are you willing to be?

Wow! Last week, I was in the presence of some truly authentic women who were so real, so true to themselves!!

I am running a 8-week group coach and I was in the presence of 4 incredible women who showed me another side of being authentic. We all met for the first time, yet, these women were ready to be themselves by being willing to be vulnerable with each other...complete strangers to all, yet, we shared some of our deepest and scarest fears that are still present in our lives.


I am so blessed to have these incredible women show me by example about being vulnerable. So, how willing are you to be vulnerable and be supported in order to get stronger?

Peace,
Coach Shirley

Who is authentic Shirley?

So, I am still high from posting my very first blog and throwing caution to the wind. Now, I am wondering how I would like to present myself. Meaning, how do I let the real Shirley shine through?


I guess, what I am asking myself is, who is the real Shirley, the authentic Shirley. To be very honest, I am still in search of the authentic Shirley. For me, being authentic is being able to love who you are; the good, the bad and the ugly.

For me, as far back as I can remember, I had no problem being Shirley up until the age of 6. Prior to 6, being Shirley is GREAT! I remembered being praised as highly intelligent, being Daddy's girl, loved by grandma and gets almost anything I want...life was GREAT!

Then, when I hit first grade and when academic performance came into play, I was constantly being compared to someone...there was ALWAYS someone who was doing better than I did. Soon, I began to feel like I was not good enough...I felt that way all the way till I was 36.

I felt betrayed by me. I felt like the intelligent little girl that everyone loved just walked out of my life and left me with the not good enough. Soon, I was asked, "Why can't you be more like so and so?" Then, I got the message that I am not good enough. It went from feeling not good enough to being not good enough.

Then, I began studying the top students in class and really studied them. I studied how they write, how they talk, how they walk, even right down to how they hold their pens and I even changed my penmanship to look like theirs. Looking back, I now realized that I was in the process of shedding Shirley and be like those top students. I began my journey of denying myself, my existence, my essence and my identity.

So, now, training as a Fearless life coach and living the Fearless principles, I am faced with the question...who is authentic Shirley? By authentic, I define it as having the courage to show up with flaws and all and embracing my youth as an academic challenge who was the last in her class for years and my parents were called into conference with my teacher regarding my "failures".

There! I've said it and I've shared. I was an academic challenge. I came in last in my class. I used to burn, burn with shame, let alone share with the world what I crappy student I was. I used to ask myself, "Why can't I be more like so and so? Why can't I be more like my siblings who were so successful in their academics, in their lives and their careers?"

Right now, I want to acknowledge myself for being authentic. I am not afraid that you or anyone else in this world knows about my miserable grades. That was part of who I am. I am also GRATEFUL for this experience as I now know that asking "Why can't you be more like so and so?" is really not an encouragment!!!!! And, that is not the way I would encourage my beautiful Sophia.

I still don't quite know who the Authenic Shirley is. I am still searching it out myself and I do know though, that being honest is part of being authentic Shirley!

Peace.

Coach Shirley

Me, a Fearless Life Coach

I was so hang up about what I am going to write and so afraid of making grammer mistakes because I suck in grammer...I did not make a post even though I have been thinking about starting a blog for the last 2 months.

How funny because here I am practicing as a life coach, coaching and supporting my clients in moving pass their emotional fears which keep them stuck. Well, I was stuck for 2 months and I acknowledge myself for sharing this in my first blog post. You see, being a life coach does not mean that I have perfected the art of mastering over fear and thus, I will never feel fear. Being a life coach specializing in managing fear means that rather than feeling the fear and NEVER have the courage to EVER post, I am posting despite of my fear. That's the difference. In the past, I would have never took the risk and write, let alone post to share with the public.

Now, knowing what I know and practicing the tools I had learnt from the Fearless Living Institute (FearlessLiving.org), and training as a Fearless Life Coach, I recognised when my fear has temporary taken over my life and I made the decision to take back my life. That's the difference. And, let me tell you, right now, as I am typing this out, I feel like my life is so expanded, filled with adventures that I have yet to experience. I feel empowered as I took charge of my life rather than the voice in my head, reminding me how bad my grammer is.

So what? I don't care! I feel FREE!!! When was the last time you felt this way? Let me tell you, it is liberating!!!